Jumat, 18 Juli 2014



Another great tourney... but things were not as great as the tourney.
We still couldn't bring any trophy home, which is very saddening.
That we had done our best but the force was not with us...
Or it was with us and that was our best ever fortune? haha :"

But some things are worth being grateful for :
1. My team broke 9th to the octo-final, a better achievement than the year before in which we didn't break.
2. For the first time, SMANITRA had 2 teams in octo-final round. Yeah! Double Break!
3. All of our LOs - SMANITRA sent 3 teams - are cool, cute, and handsome! Thank God for this! :D


One thing that I would never forget : I, Agung, and Ko Tian, along with our coach, practiced the motion "THBT Indigenous Community should be Allowed to Have Its Own Criminal Law" in SILOAM HOSPITAL.

Great. A debate practice in the patient waiting room of a luxurious hospital like this.
Shame on our face when we had to do our 7 minutes speech, standing and speaking out loudly, with everyone's eyes onto us.
Too embarrassing!
Why did our coach do this to us? T_T
Well, since it's because he had some medical check-ups to do and also still needed to fulfill his responsibility to us, his students, it's okay and justified for him to do this to us.
This made us more confident, too. So it's okay.
But still, argh -,-

Our coach bought us a special magazine. An ultimate ALSA's winning bible, he said. I won't tell you what it is :p
Yeah we should have paid for that, but until I write this post, we never paid it off. We forgot to, hehe sorry coach. But we will, kok.
This magazine was really hard to understand because it uses formal English and the words are too heavy to follow. We copied this magazine for all of us, but neither of us finished reading it. Even there is no information from the magazine that we completely understand.
This is our biggest mistake : not using all times and chances available. If only we completed reading it, we would have done a better job than this...

Ah, we also had some conflicts determining the teams' composition. My coach has to consider what to prioritize; the balance of all teams or the maximum outcome we could get.

In 2012, it seemed like he wanted to balance the 2 teams, so in each team, there were the same skills, experiences, etc.
But in 2013, he said that he would like to unite me, sabeth, and regina and let the 3 of us give our best and achieve our best.

I was happy being paired with sabeth and egin, both are my close friends outside debate and we had ever joined a competition together and even champed! We are team A.
Team B consists of Agung, Ko Tian, and Zanetta.
Ko Tian is a really passionate one, eh. This is his senior year, in which everyone else is busy studying for SBMPTN (National Selection of Public University Entrance), but he joined this competition.
I respect him so much!


Here we go!

ROUND 1 : TH REGRETS THE ERADICATION OF RSBI (Rintisan Sekolah Bertaraf International)
          Regina, Grace, Sabeth
          Willem (I forgot to note the rests, sorry)
Adj  : 3 adjes
Margin : 1 (from Ci Acin)

Bad luck smanitra, having to face tardu in the first round, with Willem the smarty, the best speaker in almost all competitions he joined. 
We lost fair and square as we know that we're lacking of confidence since the very first time, and so it continues with the lacking of logical explanations to build our arguments.
The biggest clash is upon the point of the effectiveness of RSBI itself.
Prop believes that it's ok to give more fund to school that has shown its great quality, with many achievements nationally and internationally, so the money received will be used to build better facilities and it results in many more and higher achievements. Because prop believes that those schools had proven that they can maintain their money well to become that great to actually qualify to be RSBI, so what's wrong with giving them more money since it's gonna be effective if it's used by the experienced schools like those. Eradicating = wasting great chances and opportunities.
But opp believes eradicating RSBI is the way to go. The money is better used to develop all institution to be on the same level. The opp believes that RSBI isn't effective for knowledge distribution which is the main purpose of educational institution, moreover, it creates gap between RSBI and non-RSBI school in term of education. Giving more money to an already-good school is a waste. If government wants a really high quality students, there are already many private schools with wealthy parents that can pay off every demand, and those already proved that they gave glory to the nation too with many achievements. Gov doesn't have to worry. Not eradicating =  wasting money.
Well not to scare you, but losing in the first round of ALSA has always been a bad sign of luck...

ROUND 2 : THW PUNISH INDIVIDUALS WHO MAKE FUN OF OTHER'S TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE (including but not limited to accidents and disasters)
          Regina, Grace, Sabeth
Opp : SMAN 1 BANJARMASIN        
Adj  : 3 adjes
Margin : 6, unanimous decision

The debate was a below to averaged debate, which disadvantaged our team on our team score. It made us receive only around 71 per person in consequence of the below average debate. 
We, the proposition, justifies the limitation of comedians' freedom of expression by saying that every right could actually be limited if it harms other, and we prove with our elaborations, that this is actually harming the victims psychologically. Comedians still have options about what to be their jokes theme, while the victims can't opt what their feelings gonna be, humiliated or not. Further implications that are gonna happen : government seems like supporting unethical people = unethical country itself. 
The opposition believes that since the very first place, it's impossible to make everyone happy. So if you want certain side to be happy, you have to sacrifice the other side. They also believe that making fun of traumatic experience can make other people sorry about it. Punishing individuals because of making fun of things like that are actually over-reacting and can be called "government asides to one side".

          Regina, Grace, Sabeth
Opp : SMAN 2 BENGKULU B        
Adj  : Thoriq from UGM, Hara from Bakrie, Deasy from Upi
Margin : 8, unanimous decision

The case is PINKlovesCONSENT, a socio-engineering group, uses Victoria's Secret products' images by writing on it the ideas they wanna spread to the society, which is for men to always ask for women's consent before doing intercourse.

Here, proposition believes that it's ok to put aside the big corporation's authorithy
as it's what they have to sacrifice for solving the actual social problem. Why do they have to sacrifice something for society? Because it's something obliged to do as a part of society and a citizen. From us for us. Proposition also believes that consent is needed in order to prevent piracy, while this is not a piracy. Why? because piracy is when someone takes benefit - in form of money - of something without paying the share. But in this case, the socio-engineering group doesn't receive even a cent from the movement, and everything is just for the society to respect women etc.

Opposition believes that it's not fair that the big corp has struggled to achieve the dignity but then it's used without consent. They are also afraid that it's gonna be miss-used by any group. Opp also insists that copyright can't be intervened.

          Shanon, Glendy, Ingrid
          Regina, Grace, Sabeth
Adj  : Triando, Valen, Saras
Margin : 3,5 unanimous decision

Prop believes that the essence of law is to achieve fairness. That's why there are scales of crime : killing is above stealing, for example. This means that punishment is depending on how big is the harm done to society and law is there to pay it back. Also, court's initial punishment is more equitable since it involves all sides, both victim's witnesses and perpetrators', prosecutor and etc, that the decision made by only gov officials to give remissions. For the further implications, Proposition believes that the reduced punishment could provoke people about the convicts bribing the officials to reduce their sentence. Proposition also rebut the proposition about how good behaviors and good cooperation of the convict are only acting and that however sure we are about convicts already got deterrent effects, we can never guarantee they won't commit any crime anymore.

Opp believes that the essence of punishment or sentence or prison is to create a deterrent effect for the convict in order to prevent him harming the society in the future, and we believe that the most effective way to achieve it is by letting them experience such sorrow in prison. Law is not for revenge. Therefore, the length of time they're gonna be in prison is depending on how sure are the gov officials that the convict could be released and not do crime anymore. The first sentence given in trial is just like "People who did this kind of crime are generally ready to be released to the society after 10 years. People who did that kind of crime get deterrent effect after 4 years." But when the punishment is going, gov officials have to evaluate their prediction and that's what has happened with remission. If the convict has good behaviors, a far better deed than any other normal human, then that's maybe a sign of deterrent effect and let the officials act on it.

           Nabila Balqis, Fakhrisya, M. Haykal
          Regina, Grace, Sabeth      
Adj  : Revaldi, Ahmed Rashed, Fathy Ahmad
Margin : Split 2-1

Proposition believes that Indonesian football league itself is created for all regions in Indonesia to compete and fight for their pride. It's all about nationality. That's why, there mustn't be any foreign player as it means the fight is not purely between Indonesian people. The existence of foreign players make the club do less effort to train their local players and prefers paying more foreign ones to win. 
Meanwhile, opposition believes that Indonesian football league has 2 important essences : the competition of skill as the main idea of football, and to fight for the regions' pride. That's why the club holds selection to select ones with best skills to be in the team. If the foreign player shows a very good skill that is qualified, then they can get in the team. It goes the same with the local player. They compete with the same starting point : their skill, and not to be confused with where they are from. But to fulfill the 2nd purpose, PSSI only allows 5 foreign players out of 40 players to be in the club. The further implication that will happen is that the local players are more triggered to play well as they don't want to seem like those foreign players are the ones who fight for their region's pride and not them.

Next is... breaking announcement!

Yeah, that tense again. We waited in silence, well the room was noisy, but I couldn't even breathe that time. And then.... SMAN 1 TANGERANG A came out 9th! We broke :")
In panic. we prayed for SMANITRA B to break too. But they didn't... that time.

I cried, we all cried, but my junior tried to comfort me. My juniors, SMANITRA C, didn't make it to 3 vps, the minimum vp to be able to break. But SMANITRA B did collect 3 vps and I had a big hope for them to be in the octo-final!

We went outside, mourning.
When suddenly, Adil got a call from someone. He talked and that instant, he ran. Ran around that corridor while yelling, "WE MADE IT! WE BROKE!"

Everyone was surprised.
Not long after that, he explained, "The committee said it was a mistake. Sangtimur just had 2 vps, the tabulation was wrong. Bradley made a report to them. And we're the last team that broke."

I'm so glad to hear it. REALLY REALLY GLAD. Thank you, Bradley, for being fair - you know that not anyone can give it up. Breaking in Alsa, I mean. You're da MVP!

The day ends happily. This is the first "double break in Alsa" for Smanitra. We hope, next time will be triple break or even all smanitra final. Nothing is impossible, right?

           Regina, Grace, Sabeth
Adj  : Fiski Aditya, Saras, Gabriel, Salsa, Deta
Margin : Unanimous decision

Oh, this team again. O-H N-O...

First of all, I'm sorry for not going to explain the points regarding the motion. I don't like this debate, not because I lose, but because I lose when I do have confidence to win.

This losing was not like other ones. Usually when I lose, I already know that I'm gonna lose because a) I'm not so sure about my own case, b) I can't rebut nor oppose my opponent's points.

But in this case, I put my utmost effort to explain everything, to rebut everything, and I really trust my case. We have practiced debating a motion like this before, so I know all the ideas that needs to come out, and how to tackle those points. 

But we lose.

I can't say anything. I was just speechless. I'm breaking down when Ka Gaby said to us, in her verbal assessment, "At first, I was gonna give you the winning. It's a hard decision, I need to turn my note over and over. But I at the end give the winning to prop because...."

She was going to give the winning to us. 

"I think you need to explain...."

We were going to win if we explain that.



What I'm happy about is that I ever got a 77 from an adj, in the glorious alsa e-comp, at the octo-final round. (I know this when she shows us her score sheet) (Willem got the same too. I'm happy I'm as good as him, even if it's only in that round)

Turned out I saved the best for the last, huh?

SMANITRA B also lost againts SMAN 1 DENPASAR, the CHAMPION of this tourney. They said they were all gods of matter. With fluent english. And sharp logic. And are all monsters. 
I always dream to have a chance to debate monster-like debaters. All my teammates + Agung has ever done facing Foursma senior and junior, and Agung and Adil have ever fought sman 1 denpasar. 
I never did. My monsters were bradley and willem. I already got really scared if I have to battle them, let alone to argue with denpasar's troops? Well, I'm really curious. But too bad, I'm not gonna debate anymore after this tourney. Not even in the varsity. Hehe ^^v

Btw, here is our speakers' standing :

Ag : 25th
Gr : 33rd
Re : 47th
Sa : 53rd
Ad : 60th
Gi : 75th
Za : 87th
Gr (junior) : 105th
Jo : 120th



 "I was gonna give you the winning."


Selasa, 01 Juli 2014

Let's Start Talking About LIFE! : I was a Bully and I, Sincerely, Apologize

Para pembaca yang budiman, mungkin kalian agak bingung sebenarnya aku ini manusia kayak gimana, karena karakter aku emang agak gak jelas di setiap tulisanku.

Nah, untuk memperjelas sedikit karakterku sebenarnya, di entri satu ini, aku ingin menceritakan pengalaman yang aneh bin ajaib yang kudapat semenjak aku hobi membaca komik yang mengandung sedikiiiiiiit unsur kekerasan seperti SINCHAN, KARIAGE-KUN, KOBO-CHAN, MARUKO-CHAN, dan DORAEMON. Tidak bermaksud mendiskreditkan komik-komik tersebut, tapi pengaruhnya sangat-sangat kurasakan dalam masa kecilku...

I was a bully. God, please forgive me.

Jadi, dulu aku punya beberapa pengalaman di mana aku ngebully orang. Dulu aku ga tau kalo itu tuh namanya ngebully, dan ngebully itu jahat. Yang aku tau, aku senang aja rasanya kalo orang yang aku bully ini gabisa ngelawan aku. Dan kalo mereka coba lawan, langsung kubales lagi.


I'm not sharing this to show you my superiority back then when I was little.
I'm just telling you how I regret doing these things and how I hope this never happened. How I was so stupid and I hope you won't do the same in any other form.

If one of my bullied friend reads this, I wanna say my deepest sorry :"


Jadi, inilah nama teman-teman yang dulu pernah aku jahili. Nama disamarkan demi melindungi privasi :"

1) IREsyalalala
Jadi, dulu, aku adalah sohib erat sama ADElililili. Dia anaknya cantik dan badannya agak bongsor. Aku anaknya unyu dan badannya agak kecil. Berdua, kami sempurna! Apasih.
IREsyalalala adalah anak cantik, putih, tapi mukanya juteeeek terus, dan dia ga pernah ngomong dan kayaknya ga punya temen deket.
Aku sebel banget sama dia waktu itu. Akhirnya aku bersama ADElililili nyamperin dia waktu dia lagi duduk sendirian di bangku panjang. Dia cuma ngeliat kami dengan mendelik.
Langsung kami beraksi. Aku naikin kaki kanan aku ke sebelahnya si IREsyalalala. Jadi aku ngelabrak dia sambil ngangkang gitu -_- trus ADElililili maksa dia ngomong, tapi dia ga ngomong. Mukanya cuma panik dikit, tapi dia gak nangis. Terus kami paksa ngomong, tapi dia ga ngomong. "LO BISU YA?" dia cuman geleng-geleng. Akhirnya demi dia buka mulut, hampir aja kami melakukan kekerasan. ADElililili minta dasi aku, aku agak lupa sih antara dia yang minta dasi aku atau aku yang nawarin dasi aku, aku lepas dasi karet aku dari leher dan aku kasih ke dia. Dia mau nyabet IREsyalalala biar dia mau ngomong! Untung bel masuk, jadi gak jadi.
Gilaaaaa aku preman banget waktu itu, aaaa maaf beribu maaaaaaf IREsyalalala!

Dan kalian tau apa? waktu aku naik kelas, aku pisah sama ADElililili kelasnya jadi kami ga seakrab dulu lagi. Nah, tahun depannya, pas naik kelas lagi, aku pindah jemputan. You know what? Ternyata di jemputan itu ada ADElililili. Kami langsung haha hihi di dalem jemputan. Sampai akhirnya jemputan berhenti di sebuah rumah. Seorang anak keluar dari rumah itu, dan dia adalah... yak benar sekali, IREsyalalala!!!! Dia naik dan aku langsung awkward. Karena apaa? Karenaaaa.... Dia ternyata akrab banget sama ADElililili. Mereka langsung ngobrol banyak, membuat aku sama sekali ga percaya kalo dia adalah anak yang dulu aku katain bisu. Speechless nya, temen aku yang dulu jahat sama dia bareng-bareng sama aku, malah jadi temen baik dia. Hahaha aku nyesel banget sumpah udah jahat sama orang!!!

2) KENoy
Jaman lagi dihebohkan sama F4 waktu itu, karena drama taiwan Meteor Garden. Aku sukaaaaaa banget sama F four, terutama Vic Zhou a.k.a Hua Ze Lei. Jadilah aku Zailover sampai sekarang udah hampir lulus SMA, hahaha.
Nah, temen aku si KENoy (cowo) ini duduknya depan aku di kelas. Dia punya pensil yang gambarnya itu F4. Aku naksir banget ama tuh pensil. Dan aku langsung pengen memiliki semenjak pandangan pertama. Hehehe.

Dan kalian tau apa yang aku lakukan?

Aku minjem pensil itu ke dia, dia ngasih, dan aku langsung pake. Pas dia minta balikin, aku langsung dudukin pensil itu, trus aku nolak balikin ke dia. Dia ngotot dan dia nyari ke mana mana, tas aku, kotak pensil aku, tapi ya gak ada, orang aku dudukin....
Akhirnya setelah sekian lama berkutat, dia nyerah dan mau nurutin syarat aku, yaitu kalo mau pensilnya aku balikin, kasih aku seribu! Dia ngasih aku seribu dan aku balikin pensilnya.
Dan duit seribunya aku taro di dalem kaos kaki aku di sepatu aku.

Pulang sekolah, aku keluar dan duduk di samping tante aku di bangku panjang. Waktu itu, aku pulang sekolah dan abang keluar istirahat, karena dia jam belajarnya lebih lama soalnya kelasnya lebih tinggi kan.
Nah dia nyamperin aku dan tanteku, "Aju (salah satu sebutan untuk tante bagi orang batak), abang minta seribu dong, buat jajan."
Aku langsung ngajak abang menjauh dari Aju dan kita agak ke tengah lapangan.
"Nih bang, dede punya seribu."
"Loh dede ga pake? Yaudah buat abang ya!"
"Iya pake aja"
Aku langsung sumringah senang karena kupikir abang senang aku tolongin. Semacam bangga karena berjasa gitu~

Besoknya, di sekolah, ada pelajaran senam. Saat yang lain semuanya senam, tiba-tiba Ibu Riani narik aku sama KENoy ke kelas. Beliau mulai nanya-nanya soal aku malak KENoy. Aku sih selaw aja.
Beliau nanya, "Siapa yang nyuruh kamu malak?"
Aku jawab sejujurnya, "Ga ada Bu."
Lalu beliau bertanya lagi, "Kalo gitu, duitnya kamu kasih ke siapa?"
"Ke abang," jawabku polos. Wahaha aku jujur kan...

Lalu hari itu, semua berjalan biasa sampai aku pulang sekolah. Dan beberapa jam kemudian abang pulang sekolah. Aku lagi di rumah Aju, dan si abang turun dari mobil langsung nyamperin aku sambil marah-marah. "DEDE NGOMONG APA SAMA BU GURU HAH?"
Aku kaget dan bingung, apaan ini kok tiba-tiba, ga ngerti sama sekali deh.

Akhirnya aku nyadar bahwa si abang diomelin sama Bu Riani karena disangkanya abang yang nyuruh aku malak. Haha poor you bang. Tapi ya abis itu, aku ga diomelin sama Bu Riani tapi sama Mama. Langsung deh selama beberapa minggu, kalo ada sodara dateng, ya kisah aku ini diceritain. Dan aku langsung jadi top hits gossip gitu di antara ibu-ibu temen-temen aku, malu deh.
Makanya, don't be a bully...
Sorry banget ya KENoy, pensilnya makasih juga yah udah boleh dipinjem :"

3) YOPahaha
Cowo satu ini pertama kali kutemukan waktu sebelum masuk TK. Saat itu, aku pertama kali melihat TK yang akan kumasuki, semacam survey gitu deh, sementara mama menuntaskan pembayaran.
Aku ke lapangan dan duduk di ayunan yang talinya panjang gitu, duduknya ngadep depan. Ada dua ayunan di satu tiang, samping-sampingan bukan depan-depanan.
Sejurus kemudian, datanglah YOPahaha (waktu itu aku ga kenal siapa dia), dengan mata sipit berparas cina, duduk di ayunan kosong sampingku.
Kalau ga salah yaa, waktu itu aku ngobrol sedikit sama dia, tapi aku lupa ngomongin apa (yaiyalah secara itu udah lama banget -_-)
Agak lama kemudian, datang cecenya menjemputnya, trus aku sendirian deh nunggu abang. Dan ia pun datang.

Masuklah ke SD! Kelas 3 SD waktu itu. Aku kayak ada geng gitu isinya aku, sebangkuku, depanku, dan sebelahnya depanku.
Merekalah YOPahaha, AGNihihi, dan RILalala.
Waktu itu, aku bener-bener ga tau kalo YOPahaha ini pernah kulihat waktu sebelum TK dulu, makanya mukanya sangat familiar tapi aku gabisa nyebutin dia itu siapa.
Sehingga.... YOPahaha menjadi korbanku selanjutnya. Ugh, kalo sama si YOPahaha ini, aku ngerasa bener-bener jahat banget deh!

Mulai dari kita se-geng nyiapin satu permen karet yang pas dibuka, isinya langsung ngejepret jari yang megang. Aku dan AGNihihi dateng nyamperin YOPahaha, nawarin permen karet itu, dan dia langsung nanya, "Apanih, kalian mau ngerjain aku ya?"
"Udaaaaah, buka aja, mumpung kita lagi baik nih!"
Dan dia buka, dan jepreeeeet.
Aku dan AGNihihi ketawa ngakakkkk. Tapi pas istirahat, ada seorang temen yang nyamperin aku, "Grace, menurut kamu, kamu udah terlalu jahat ga sih sama si YOPahaha?"
Dan kujawab dengan enteng, "Enggalah, biasa aja kok, hahahaha."
Damn, I'm so ashamed of the little me.

Habisnya si YOPahaha ini bener-bener culun kacamata, tipe anak yang pake celana sampe yang harusnya di pinggang malah ditaronya di perut, bajunya dimasukkin banget. Jadilah aku kecil semakin napsu saja untuk mengerjainya di tiap kali ada kesempatan...

Dan ini sih yang paling parah, bukan bully fisik doang, tapi sampe bully secara sosial....

Jadi lagi main kereta-keretaan sama geng aku dan beberapa anak kelas. Semuanya saling pegang pundak temennya dan jalan.
Paling depan itu AGNihihi, dan aku paling belakang. Tepat depan aku lah si YOPahaha.
Udah nih, keretanya udah hampir sampe finish yaitu tembok.
Pas komuknya AGNihihi udah mepet tembok, aku iseng ngedorong kereta itu, kudorong pundak YOPahaha dan semuanya serta merta nyerimpet ke depan dan AGNihihi nubruk tembok.

Dan aku kaget, karena reaksi mereka semua bukannya seneng dan ketawa bahagia, ternyata malah marah dan ngamuk. "Siapa sih yang dorong kita? Ngaku!"
Aku membela diri, "Bukan gue.... si YOPahaha kali tuh!"
Temen-temen sempet ga percaya kalo gue bukan pelakunya. Bahkan si AGNihihi yang biasa jadi temenku buat ngebully YOPahaha, ngomong gini, "Grace lu jangan bohong. Jangan apa-apa salahin YOPahaha, kasian dia tau!" gitu.

Aku yang bener-bener masih kecil dan ngeselin banget waktu itu, malah NGAMBEK. Padahal udah jelas aku yang salah. "Yaudah kalo kalian ga percaya sama gue!" Dan gue diemin mereka abis itu.
Dan mereka ribut, ada yang yakin YOPahaha yang ngelakuin, ada yang ga percaya.

Beberapa lama setelah itu, datanglah AGNihihi padaku dan ngomong dengan muka melas, "Maafin yah, tadi sempet ga percaya sama lu. Kayaknya bener kok, YOPahaha yang ngelakuin, soalnya pas gw nengok belakang sesaat sebelum nabrak, gw liat ada bayangan cowo putih tinggi gede berkacamata lagi dorong, pasti kan itu YOPahaha..."
Padahal ya iyalah yang keliatan pasti si YOPahaha, soalnya dia emang lebih tinggi dari aku, but that doesn't necessarily mean that dia yang dorong kan, hanya karena dia yang keliatan? =_= dasar pikiran anak-anak...
But since she believed iin me who lied, I KNOW I WAS SO EVIL................. sorry banget ya YOPahaha :(

Ini salah satu korban yang paling unik. Sama seperti sebelumnya, aku ga sendirian kalo ngebully dia. Teman bullier ku adalah BLL dan CHRSL.
Kami kalo ngebuli dia tuh kayak becanda, dan dianya seneng-seneng aja. Unik kan?
Salah satu contohnya, kita main hewan piaraan. Kita ngiket leher dia di tali rafia, trus kita seret-seret seakan dia itu hewan piaraan kita. Sekelas ngeliatin kita gitu.
Anehnya dia seneng aja, ketawa-ketawa aja gitu. Pas diperhatikan dengan lebih seksama, di pelupuk matanya tuh ada air. Kita ejek dia, "Ih MRVL nangissssss!" dan dia cuma merespon, "Enak aja, ini keringet tau, keringet doang keringet."
Sampe sekarang pun gada yang tau, itu air mata apa keringet :"

Dia sering kita jitak, digetok, kita ejek ini itu, trus setiap kali dibully gitu dia cuma bergumam gerak-gerakin bibir gitu ngedumel ga jelas. Seandainya dia marah, seenggaknya perasaan bersalah ini mungkin berkurang.
Duh maafin kita yaaaa, MRVL :((

5) OH YAH,
sebagai cerita tambahan, untuk let the world know bahwa I once was a very naughty girl, dulu aku juga sempet suka nyuri. Nyuri hal kecil sih, tapi tetep aja nyuri kan namanya...

Jadi waktu itu lagi jamannya tukeran dan saling ngisi diary temen, biodata, kata mutiara(kamut), trus nempelin stiker-stiker lucu di halaman yang isinya biodata kita. Biasanya ada ciri khas tuh, si A stikernya selalu ini.. si B stikernya selalu warna ini.... Itu semua bisa diketahui dari diary orang-orang yang ada biodata dianya.

Aku juga, seneng ngisi diary temen, tapi pelit ngeluarin duit buat beli stiker.
Udah kebayang kan? Yap, ahaha.
Aku nyolong stiker dari halaman sebelumnya yang udah diisi, dan kutempel di halaman biodataku. Lebih professional lagi, aku gamau sekali bawa pulang buku diary cuman 1. Aku pasti bawa pulang 2 atau lebih. Supaya apa? Supaya bisa aku ambil stiker dari diary yang berbeda dan aku tempel di halamanku, sehingga lebih kecil kemungkinan untuk ketahuan kalo stikernya mirip sama di buku yang sama halaman yang berbeda, hehe.

 Aku sangat puas dengan hasil curianku. Aku ga perlu keluar duit deh :D

Tapi. Ada kejadian yang menegangkan gara-gara nyuri ini. Misalnya...
"Grace, stiker kamu lucu banget iniii. Beli di mana?"
Mampuslah, aku bingung banget dan deg-degan hebat gara-gara itu.
"Aku lupa beli di mana, mall kali yaaa"

Itu masih gapapa.
Sekali waktu, aku pernah ketahuan. Jadi ceritanya, aku ngisi diary temenku si MAR dan seperti biasa, hal curi-mencuri kulakukan. Stiker dari halaman lain kutempel di halamanku.
Lalu, saat sedang duduk-duduk di kelas, si MAR yang diarynya udah kukembalikan setelah kuisi, ngobrol ama temen-temennya, "Eh liat deh, kok stikernya Grace sama si ini sama yaa?"
Double mampus, hatiku langsung mencelos, panik.

Sejak saat itu, selalu kuhindari si MAR, supaya kami ga bisa ngobrol bareng jadi dia ga punya kesempatan buat nanya ke aku tentang itu.
Tapi saat kerja kelompok, karena bener-bener sibuk dan mumet sama kerjaannya, aku lupa kalo ak lagi ngindarin dia. Jadilah saat aku kebelet pipis, aku nanya ke temen-temen kelompokku, "Ada yang mau nemenin ke WC gaa?"
Di kelompokku gada. Tapi MAR dari kelompok lain di sebelahku menawarkan diri. "Yuk Grace bareng aku."
Aku pun ikut dia. Dan waktu itu, namanya juga masih kecil, suka takut kalo di WC, jadi kami masuknya barengan. Satu bilik berdua.

Di dalam sanalah nerakanya dimulai.
"Grace, kok stiker kamu sama persis sih sama stikernya si ini?"
"Ah, masa iya?"
"Iya. Kamu ngambil stiker dia ya?"

Mulai dari situ, kalo ga salah, jawaban aku cuma gatau, gatau, dan gatau deh. Aku panik banget.
Sejak saat itu, mulailah kubeli stiker yang murah-murah aje dan nempelnya dikit-dikit ajah...


Demikianlah dongeng-dongeng masa kecilku.
I was rebellious, naughty, evil, rude, etc. But you know, everyone changes, everything keeps growing, and so does my heart. It's growing to a better one, a better heart, a soft one. At least I hope so.

Jadi mohon maaf ya semuanya... Kalo masih dikasih kesempatan ketemu lagi, aku janji bakal minta maaf dengan fair :)